thoughts of the gerber daisee

life

2007-02-11T21:38:00.000-05:00

every day somewhere to be,
emotions high than low.
save the world
remain normal and content
where do we go from here?

5 days til lift off!

2007-01-28T19:11:00.000-05:00

well, the send off party went really well. Close to 100 people in our house.
Black jack dealer, prizes, entourage.
A great time had by all ( I hope)! So many supporters, true friends.
The float is amazing- "Opening a can of whoop ass!" Use your imagination!
Can't wait to have "Eric" back.

ahhhh , the husband

2007-01-11T22:18:00.000-05:00

Who would have thought that the guy who courted the Miss America contestant, bike across the country for the american heart association ----would( marry and reproduce), become a professional eater ?
who knew my man would have Wingbowl aspirations?!?!?!??
Our lives revolve aound----
float, cotume, entourage ( I spelled it correctly),
send off party. bus, tshirts,
babysitter, alcohol,
defeat/victory, getting KATROCKET to travel for 1 stupid American exploit.

Last year total Wingbowl expenditures approx. $2000.00.
This year I am budgeting 500.00.
We will see how it goes.

I ain't no P.T.O parent

2007-01-10T18:02:00.000-05:00

Call me crazy but do f---n mothers without jobs have anything better to do than sit around and gossip and creat problems!!!
These women are crazy! I keep feeling guilty that I never have the energy to go to these meetings after workingin a school all day, and when I finally listen to what they I have to say---- Holy toledo!!!! There are men losing their lives in Iraq, people without homes, drug addiction, cancer, etc. and they have the nerve to kavitz over the fifth grade pancake breakfast and who is bringing the syrup!!!!
I ain't no P.T.O parent.

shit happens

2007-01-03T19:40:00.000-05:00

packing for the mountains.
yearly trip.
6 hour drive.
tubing, snowmobiling, skiing, ice skating, horseback riding, bar
no snow :(

FINALLY!!!!!!

2006-12-27T20:18:00.000-05:00

It took a few years, a tour of duty in Afganistan, and a diamond ring, but baby sister is finally tying the knot and I am the MATRON of honor!! How OLD does that sound ?!?!?!? MATRON!!!!! Thrilled anyway, congrats baby girl- you rock!

birthdays

2006-12-17T21:54:00.000-05:00

so today was steakbellies birthday. it used to be such a momentus occasion. one that he rightfully deserves!!!
i am BIG on birthdays, it 's the one day that you can celebrate yourself and not have to share with anyone.
You are either celebrated or not. i REALLY try to make sure that all the special people in my life are acknowledged on their birthday.
However, 5 years ago, the day after SB's birthday, my most admired friend/godmother of my first born, at the age of 46, died, literally in my arms, in her beautiful home a block from the beach. ( A home she got from her malpractice settlement for not identifying stage 3 breast cancer) , and Gosh darnit, every year I remember, and i am cranky and solemn.
I rejoice and celebrate for SB, he is my most favorite person in the world!! However, I can't help but remember asking him to drive us (me and godmother) from the hospital so that she could die in front of her chrstmas tree, on his birthday 5 years ago. (I was her custodial something or other)
He of course, in his sensative steakbellie fashion, agreed. That night, in front of the tree I held her in my arms in a hospital bed (we wheeled had wheeled into her living room), at 5:20 am and watched her grasp for her last breath. i encouraged her to let go and told her it was better where she was going. I was angry and wanted to encourage her to fight but I knew it was to late. She needed peace.
It was just the 2 of us. At 6:00 am I called SB, "She's gone", I said. He made it from Pa to the beach in NJ in less that an hour andthrew shells into the ocean with me. As always, by my side.
I love you SB- Happiest of all birthdays- cheers to many more.

jealousy

2006-12-14T21:48:00.000-05:00

one must trust in true love

whewww....

2006-12-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

we can all relax now.
Congratulations.
you done good kid

a little nervous

2006-12-03T22:19:00.000-05:00

wingbowl
you love it, your beginning,
you want it,you can taste it
so much red tape
not a true declaration of ability
you can do it,
2 feet of meat and vegatables
with a kick of starch and acid
7 seconds to spare on an off day
you can do it
i'll reserve the bus
if not
there is always Glassboro
what a homecming that would be.
BFF

christmas?

2006-11-26T20:26:00.000-05:00

i feel more rushed than ever this year. Neighbors were out decorating. SB and I refuse to give in!! We will not do lights and sng carols until December. What the heck? We actualy had a tree lighting/Santa on a fire truck thing tonight. It just dosen't feel natural. SB actually went to the tree lighting in shorts!!!!!

P.S.- SB did very well at Turkey invitational. we were all very proud. He was actually able to shake the triptifan from the turkey and enjoy the city. Good time.

ahh men!!!

2006-11-15T22:46:00.000-05:00

WHY MEN AREN'T SECRETARIES...

Husband's note on refrigerator for wife:

"Someone from the Gyna Colleges called.
They said the Pabst beer is normal.

....I didn't know you liked beer."

speak up

2006-11-08T19:52:00.000-05:00

sooo- one of the reasons Steakbellie and I have continued to remain maried for 13 years is that we really crack each other up. If anyone should know us from the beginning, we met while perfoming in our college theatre department. I was a beauty queen who minored in theatre majoring in special ed, he was an art fag ( i mean that respectfully). anyway- i can still, and pride myself on doing VERY good accents. For example I could call you on the phone withmy latino accent and claim to be Gloria Cubano from Camden Nj and you would fall for it. i do southern, chinese, african american, mentally challenged you name it. Howver, my BEST is latino because if you follow my blog you know I grew up in a latino neighborhood. All this leads to------
SB and I are in bed on a WEdnesday night reading our local paper that is only published once a week, Wednesdays.
There is a column called "Speak Up" . it is filled with tyrades of really goofy comments and scenarios. People call a number, leave a message and f the editor likes it he publishes. needless to say SB and I LOVE to read this. So, after we read these, he looks at me, i look at him and say in my utmost latino accent " Jew Know baby, I hat it when those crazy gringas with no kids park in the spot reserved for mothers who are expecting or with newborns at the Superfresh and they not even knocked up! that makes me muy loco!!!!"
He cracks up , "Oh my little Gloria Cubano, (my former Spanish teacher), please call and SPEAK UP!
So- i dial the number and go full speed ahead on the answering machine!! Aye carumba!!!
Today is WEdnesday- I got the paper, and sure enough - Gloria has been quoted!!! I have 6 lines.
Now- I feel as SB does after an eating competition, i must do better, I must strategize.
Do I pull out the chinese, the southerner, or the mentally challenged, and what do i need to SPEAK UP about?!?!?!? Hmmm......

day off

2006-11-08T09:41:00.000-05:00

took the day off.
renew drivers license
take kid to lunch
take kid to see Borat!
I'm a rebel!

bizarre day

2006-11-01T20:27:00.000-05:00

today at work i get a call from the police chief. i have to do a level 1 lock down . there has been a bank robbery a 1/2 a mile away, on the same street as school. the guy has a gun and has fled through the field that backs up to us, on foot. I kept everyone in doors and did not let anyone leave.
The sad part is, I wasn't phased by this at all.

I also participated,and led a brother and sister , to our state childprotection agency,. hey were to be taken away from their drug addicted, homeless, slut mother. and it felt good. Good to know that these kids will be safe, good to know that this mother now can not hurt these kids, well at least, physically anymore.
It felt awful holding them in my lap and crying with them, telling them their mother really did love them and was trying her best, ( I lied).
Bad parents need to be locked up!!!!!!!!!

i have to believe there is a God!

and if there is, does he serve a nice chardonnay?

the kindness of a stranger

2006-10-26T19:41:00.000-04:00

today I come home from work. On the dining room table are, bills, circulars, homework assignments, and a package addressed to me. My first thought is, "Oh shit did I get drunk and order something expensive off the internet?" Its a smaller sized package, so its not a TV or anything, but who the hell knows?!?!?
i don't recognize the address, and notice it is from Fort Wayne, In.
Now I think, oh shit its a former student sending me an anthrax laced package of cheetos.
I've been at many school safety conferences lately, what can I say?!?!?!?
I take a deep breath and open the box. Inside is another box with a "willow tree figurine", which i have been collecting for the past 3 years. People usually give them to me,when a figurine reminds them of me. i started to do this with friends after someone I taught gave me the "inspiration" figure. I now have about 10. They are really sweet not at all hokey and queer. i am not at all a tchockie collector by any means!!!!
i open it and a beautiful angel holding a heart is in my hands. The card says, "Bright star. Reflecting a light from within."
I am deeply touched. Who has sent this to me and why? A happy tear runs down my cheek. Its been a crazy week and a half since the whole stabbing thing.
I rummage through the packaging. An invoice from Rustic Fine Furnishings is in the box. Purchaser: Chris Radloff, TO: Kelly Livingston. Chris is a fellow blogger whom I have never met in person, his lovely austrian wife is Dagmar. A lovely couple, whom intrigue me and help me to believe that there is still good in this world. They sent me this little treasure to brighten my day and tell me I am a special person. They think that I am special because I helped that boy. I think they are special because they helped me.
Needless to say, last week i started going back to church. i NEED to believe in the good in this world, and Chris and Dagmar are good. thank you friends.

www.radloffs.net/blog.html

anniversary

2006-10-24T21:53:00.000-04:00

well here we are, approaching the big 13!
No one thought we would make the 2 year mark let alone 13 years of marital bliss!!! (admit it Birdy you thought it would be doomed!)
I have had many plans for celebation on my mind.
Things that I want, and I figure I can say, "It's our anniversary, let's get that!" (However, we are raising 3 boys and i am planning private high school tuitions).
things like... A new bed, with a super duper matresses,
an 8 person hot tub on the deck,
a mini vacation to the caribbean.
So guess what we chose? You will be envious....
Hubby has to work, I am going to boys football games and maybe if we're lucky
Kentucky Fried after the game on Saturday.
Ahhhh- marriage....
I love you Steakbellie- happy Anniversary!

autumn

2006-10-17T17:53:00.000-04:00

glass of wine, fire is on, mums have bloomed,
Halloween decorations are out , in no time I'll be shopping for Christmas.

life changing

2006-10-14T23:01:00.000-04:00

So....... i dont usually have anything really great to blog about. Actually, as i type this i am tipssy. i needed a stiff drink to help me deal with what happened tonight. i am not writing this for a response or a pat on the back, but strictly a release.
i go to my 12 year olds football game, i am angry because they have given him less playing time because he has not performed well in practice. a lot less.
it is the final quarter of the game. the last 30 seconds. I notice a hefty black kid stumbling around the dugouts ( where the kids and coaches go to discuss what they have done right/wrong). he doesnt look well. his girlgriend trails behind crying, "he's been stabbed, he's been stabbed". People ignore, people part, no one seems to hear. i hear. "What?" I ask, "Look at him him, please help he has been stabbed."
At this point see his covered in blood. He looks at me and says" I am dying. I cant breath" I say. " Of course you can breath, you are in the middle of an open field, there is a lot of oxygen for you. stay strong keep it together. "
"I'm dying he says" " Oh stop--- you are not"
I place pressure on his gaping wound. I have now turned my jacket into a turniquet and am sticking my fingers in the hole that is ooozing to stop the bleeding. He is squeezing my hand. Pleases dont let me die.
i say " knock it offf, you are fine" I am shitting myself.
I turn to the side and see my 12 year old. with his helmet in hand and sweaty head, staring at me me scared to death. I toss him my cell phone ,
"baby, call daddy and tell him to pick you up, I love you".
Finally, after what seems like an eternity police and ambulance arrive. They rope off, a crime scene, and I give a statement. My friend is calling for me from the ambulance. I cant go, I have my family to take care of.
i wonder how he is.
I wonder how this has screwed up my kid. How has this screwed me up. i will call the hospital in the am.

what to do?!

2006-10-09T21:27:00.000-04:00

Had the day off, no kids, no husband, a dirty house and lots of laundry. Didn't want to clean, but had no idea what to do other than that! I need a hobby. hmmm...

krystal

2006-10-01T20:14:00.000-04:00

you're still our hero, my best friend. we love you, are you hungry?

put me in coach!

2006-09-24T17:06:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how I will come across after I write this, but let me start by saying I am a huge Howard Stern fan.
I love that he makes retarded people feel happy and important, example. "Gary and Wendy the Retard, How's You News?"
i was a special education teacher for 10 years before I became an administrator. I worked with all ages and saw it all.
I have learned that mentally retarded people do not want pity, they do not give a shit, they are the HAPPIEST people on earth. I'll bet there are zero cases of suicide from the mentally retarded sector, and if their is, it is because some idiot with average intelligence, told them to do it.
Ok that is my disclaimer, listen to this...
Today I go to youngest Steakbellie's football game. They are the cutest things! 7 and 8 year olds with these huge pads on .
( it reminds me of the younger brother in The Christmas Story, when the Mom puts the snow suit on the kid and he falls and can't get up because he has so much shit on!) anyway, these boys work hard. they are tough.
There is a kid on McDoogle's (youngest steakbellie's nickname), whose Dad is a group home director for young men about, 16-20 years old. He works Sundays and always brings 2-4 of his "clients" to his kids game as their outing for Sundays. Its really cool, they love it.
I happen to be a retard magnet , I say that affectionately. Everywhere I go, if there is a M.R anywhere in the vicinity they will find me and make me their best friend. It's okay, it feels natural.
So, one particular client sits with me on the side lines, he has his schedule board with him, that tells what he is doing for the day and at what time. He shares it with me. The highlight is this game. He has that very stereotypical retarded voice, the one that sounds a lot like a deaf person attempting to speak. He looks and carries himself alot like Napoleon Dynamight with short hair. He is cheering, "Go Raiders!" through out the game. We are losing. He is beginning to get upset. We haven't lost yet this season. I tell him not to worry, we still have the second half.
He gives a smile and cheers "YOu can do it Raiders"
Half time comes and goes, Trevon (his case worker and dad of player) checks in to makes sure he is ok. i give him the thumbs up. Trevon's other son is there and has brought an old Raiders helmet. My M.R (mentally retarded) friend keeps eyeing it up and telling me how much he likes it. "That's for the Raiders, I want one of those" as he begins to rock back and forth. I say "maybe we can get you one", remembering I have one from last year in my basement I forgot to return, I'll give it to him next week.
We are in the 3rd quarter, the other team scores again, 12-0 . M.R friend is not happy. "We are losing, oh man. we are losing, oh man! Go Raiders, c'mon Raiders you can do it!" Trevon looks over at us and gives a gracious wave to me.
At that, I see my M.R friend take the old helmet that is sitting in front of him, place it on his head, and just as we are setting up to snap the ball, M.R friend charges on the field yelling, "DON'T WORRY RAIDERS, I WILL HELP YOU! WE CAN WIN!" It was as if time was in slow motion dashes onto the field, I'm yelling, "STOP! WAIT! "
Trevon has dropped his fountain soda and is running after him toward the field.
M.R friend grabs the ball and sits down right in front of the center. "They can't have it, we have to win, i will help!!!"
I can't help but giggle at what I am witnessing. Imagine a retarded Napoleon Dynamite in a football helmet stealing the ball at a 7-8 year olds game. It was hilarious! Whistles are blown, kids stop in their tracks! Coaches and ref are all clueless!
M.R friend sits and refuses to move. It took poor Trevon 10 minutes to get him off the field, which ended up as dragging off the field, literally! If they would have let him just throw the ball to one of the kids I'm sure he would have gone willingly.
I laugh to myself admiring this guys drive and determination, I pick up his schedule pad and next to where he wrote
"10:30- Go to game. " I cross out "go" and put "play in" game .
What a great game!

Muy Bonita

2006-09-19T19:53:00.000-04:00

I grew up as one of the only "gringas" in my neighbor hood from age 5-13. Translation- "white girl".
I went to Spanish catholic mass with my amigas and then we would go back to Jeanette Corderos house and make the after mass meal which consisted of:
cutting the head off a chicken in the back yard (it was sooo much fun running after this clucking chicken and seeing who could catch it first),
plucking the feathers
turning it upside down in the back yard to drain the blood,
and then gathering in the kitchen to help Mrs. Cordero make an incredile Adobo chicken dinner with rice and beans.
i could speak fluent Spanish (or at least hold my own). This was the case because my parents worked numerous jobs and I was with the neighbors 24/7 . While the chicken was cooking the adults would be conversing on the plastic covered couches, drinking Sangrai and Milwaukees Best while Jeanette, Lissette, Hector and I would be singing into deoderant conainers and hairbrushes pretending to be the new and improved version of Menudo.
We eventually moved, as my parents got it together (they started to worry when I began to speak with a puerto rican accent and mumble things like "bendajo" under my breath, translation "asshole").
I took 6 years of Spanish after that, in high school and college. I never did well, but it was what was comfortable, I had to take a language.
15 years later ( okay closer to 20) I haven't touched the language (other than when my brother and I get together and we reminise and make our parents crazy, we sit and curse during every holiday!),
until today.
Many of you know I am a vice-principal/special education-student services/athletic director by day, basically i run an elementary school, outside of Camden, Nj. Not the best area, not terribly the worst, very blue coller.
I was paged to the nurse.
We have a new preschooler, age 4, Griselda Flores. Beautiful child, dark eyes, dark hair, a peanut of a thing.
Throwing up and crying.
It is her first day in preschool, parents speak no english, she was dropped off at school and is throwing up because she is crying so hard. Nurse and teacher are looking at me helpless. She has beeen crying and trying to run out the main entrance for an hour, screaming "Mama!" They are fresh off the plane/boat from Puerto Rico. She is terrrified, (what are these concrete walls, with people speaking this crazy language, expecting me to sit in a circle and sing?)
At that moment the Cordero family comes backto me , and i immediately get on one knee, open my arms and tell her to come to me, "ven aca" she runs to me and i tell her she is "muy bonita", very pretty.
She calms iimmediately. The familiar language soothes her.
As I hold her I remember Mrs. Cordero, 25 years ago, in her kitchen, as I cry, missing my mom (because she is working her third shift), "Es muy bonita mi Kelly, es muy bonita."

The Preamble

2006-09-18T19:56:00.000-04:00

Why must my A.D.D., Dyslexic son have to memorize the Preamble by Friday?!?!?!?! Why? Why? Why?

I can't believe I just said that!!!!

2006-09-13T21:04:00.000-04:00

So, my 7th grader comes home from football practice.
we have a long conversation about whether or not he should do winter swimming or wrestling.
all totally besides the point.
he eats left over dinner (take out) sitting on the kitchen counter in his pads. He is dirty and smelly. and growing up waaaaayyyy to fast!!
Anyway, I am finishing the dishes and say, "It's getting late and I need you to get in the shower."
He replies,"No prob. Let me check my email".
I go down to the basement, throw in laundry , dryer etc.
10 minutes later, I come upstairs, he is still on the computer.
I say in a stern voice, " C, I said I want you to get in the shower. "
Son- "Mom, c'mon give me a minute, I'm almost done talking to Brian (instant messaging)"
GD- " No, now!"
Son- "God Mom 1 more sec!!!!"
GD- " Dammit C, I have given you lots of secs, and I'm tired!!!!!!"
GD and Son- (Cracking up)- " I can't believe I just said that!" " Mom- that was just wrong!"

God Bless America

2006-09-11T17:51:00.000-04:00

As I sit at my computer typing and listening to my boys play football in the front yard I can't help but feel such aweful, heartwrenching sympathy for the families of 9/11. It is days like this I really hope there is a heaven.

feeling overwhelmed and its only wednesday

2006-09-06T19:51:00.000-04:00

Why do i get flustered? why do i even feel rattled?
There are people starving! There are men at war, people living on the streets and yet, I am exhausted and flustered.
I have serious issues!! I need to get over myself.
Look at the glass half full. Life is good! Something like that.
However, just to get it off my rather voluptous chest here was my day...
4:00 am- rather annoyed that my husband is snoring loudly with contentment, rubbing my eye after little one has decked me.
5:00am- hit SB to turn to his side, he usually can go about 45 minutes without snoring if he is on his left side.
6:00am- alarm beeps loudly in my ear- I have just started to dream about MArk Wahlberg, and now I must shower!! F---K!
6:30-am, waking SB for the 3rd time and demanding he make coffee!!!
6:50- on the road listening to Howard STern, laughing my ass off!!!
7:40- arrive at work to, "I'm so glad you here, what do we do about....?"
8:25- Students on there first day, putting on the cheesiest fake smile, hugging boogery kids and getting afro sheen on my silk blouse from a hug from way over done hair extensions. It does NOTcome out!!!!
8:30- 10:30- Deal with scheduling nightmares, and listening to the secretary say "You should probably take a number, she is swamped!!"
10:30- 11:00- check my Blog friends, the highlight of my day!!!!!!!!!!!
11:00- 1:30- lunch time , making sure 500 kids get what they ordered at 8:30, no fights break out, enough coverage is in the cafeteria, and avoid anaphalactic shock of a second grader with a severe peanut allergy. Damn, I'm quick!
1:30-2:00- Go around to classrooms and pretend I am interested in whether or not everyone is having a great first day.
2:00- 2:25- Eat a weight Watchers smart ones, check email, call SB and remind him that I love him.
2:25-3:00- Meet with middle school and go over my"expectations" of which the primary is to leave me alone!!!
3:00- Dismissal on playground, listen to numerous complaints, break up a make out session, worry that my OWN kids are safely getting home from school and consolng a crying Kindergartener whose Daddy forgot her.
3:30- Met with teacher whose father is undergoing major chemo and has to leave early every day.
3:45- on the road cell phoning with SB kids.
4:30- home, flip off high heels, run down to dryer, throw in football cleats.
4:40- start dinner, read homework get kids going with homework.
5:15- feed kids, empty dishwasher, take off my bra.
5:43- football practice- drop off 2 out of 3
6:00- answer phone, littlest one dosen't have practice, come back and pick him up.
6:15- Kiss SB hello, how was your day?
6:30- God dammit I need a drink, cosmo?
6:45- load dishwasher, go and read paper.
7:00- SBdoing homework w/middle son, I'm spent.
7:45- I need to BLog and release.
7:50- Son home from football, "Mom whadda we got to eat?"
Thanks guys I feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wahhhhh-Wahhhhh!! AHHHHHHHHHHH. Much better!

Bottomless Pitt

2006-09-01T19:30:00.000-04:00

DSC04391.JPG
Originally uploaded by steakbellie.

Today middle son showed he truly takes after his father. We went out on an end of summer breakfast date. He ordered the bottom less pit. I felt like I was dining with Mega Munch Dave. It consisted of...
-2 VERY large pancakes
- 2 pieces of bacon
- 2 pieces of scrapple
-an order of home fries
-2 poached eggs
-an english muffin
the only things left were 2 little home fries, aprox. 3 bited of the english muffin and a poached egg. Now theres something to be proud of!! Damn you Steakbellie!!

school daze

2006-08-29T19:52:00.000-04:00

i am officially depressed.
It is 7:30 pm and already dark.
I have to set my alarm and work tomorrow!!!!!!!!!! I have gotten quite accustomed to the part time work deal. Going back full time sucks! WHAAAAAA!
I hate all those stay at home moms. I shoot them with jealousy lazer beams from my eyes!!! Damn homework and unairconditioned classrooms.
Sons a bitches!

Oh Marky!

2006-08-28T19:35:00.000-04:00

Okay so I went to see "Invincable" the football movie about Vince Papale, substitute teacher/bartender turned Philadelphia Eagle on an open football try out. This movie reminded me of exactly why I live where i live! Us Philly folk, have a love for community, team spirit, families sticking together and God awful accents! I know that the locals will probably love this movie more than others but I have to suggest it to all. Definately a movie for all ages, you will be cheering in your seat (just like everyone I saw it with).
By the way tonight I am going to pretend Steakbellie is "Mark Wahlberg- AKA Marky Mark" He has a happy trail in this movie that made me salivate!!!!!

things that make you go "hmmmm...."

2006-08-23T20:38:00.001-04:00

a friend sent me his link. i realized not much has been said about the pentagon/9/11. However, maybe I just got caught up in the towers and"let's roll! " to pay attention. If thats the case shame on me. I feel very ignorant.
Thoughts?
http://www.pentagonstrike.co.uk/flash.htm#Main

i love books!

2006-08-16T18:31:00.000-04:00

i am determined to continue to read as many books during the school year as I have this summer. I always slack off during the 10 months of my craziest work schedule. I have read some really awesome books this summer.
Any suggestions?

hmmmm

2006-08-14T21:37:00.000-04:00

summer coming to an end.
transition- always sends mixed emotions.
husband disappointed- wanting to take away that feeling for him.
very close to how i feel for my kids when i can't make it better.. i want to protect, i want it to always go their way.
feeling helpless today.
thinking of you jenne.

damn him

2006-08-11T10:41:00.000-04:00

Bush is looking like a cheshire cat, "WE are safer now then at 911" He is whispering to his Goons, "Hot damn, this shit is making me look good!!"
He's such a cock!!

you go Gilligan!

2006-08-09T10:40:00.000-04:00

SB(Gilligan) and his little Skipper sailing the rough salty seas (fresh water lake).
I expected to be able to have wine and cheese on my ride nd ended up with bruises up and down my legs.
That whole "coming about thing really sucks!!!
Lesson learned- power boats, more my speed.

a vacation from vacation

2006-08-07T16:46:00.001-04:00

it never ceases to amaze me how we go away, have the time of our lives ,and so damn exhausted. The children I so can't wait to spend time with , I now can't wait to go back to school.
all in all, SB and I were able to actually sit on the beach without having to worry about a baby drowning, naps, diapers, etc.
however, the neighbors kids cried all f---n night long.
so, that has wiped out all desires for a baby.
SB- right again!

NOT TO MENTION, KIDS TAKE YOU FOR EVERYPENNY YOU'RE WORTH- and then some!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhhhh

2006-07-28T21:08:00.000-04:00

drinking a martini-
car is packed-
ready to stick my feet in the sand.
this is the good life.

thinking of Jenne and chopped off my hair.

7 days to go

2006-07-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

Every year for Steakbellie's life he has gone to the same adirondack mountain retreat. So every year since I have been with him, 15 and counting, i have been going too. Our kids have gone every year of there lives and one of them was actally concieved there ; It is a magical place . We all come back happy and refreshed. 7 days to go.

you go honey, results!

2006-07-18T21:09:00.000-04:00

He did it! He and his super buddy , must now square off. Congratulations boys!!!

you go honey!

2006-07-17T21:10:00.000-04:00

Steakbellie is in a competition tonight. I have a good feeling. I ony worry because in the next round he will have to face off with his buddy!

ohh those wildwood days

2006-07-16T19:17:00.000-04:00

the neighbors have a house in wildwood Nj.
We went down for the weekend. Boy did this town bring back memories. It has changed a lot over the years, but I still get the same feeling when I'm there that compares to when I'm shopping in a Walmart.
I grew up at the Jersey shore and I was NEVER allowed in Wildwood.
It was percieved by us "Ocean City beach people" as the ultimate white trash, nasty, scum of the earth beach.
it was the place to sneak to after the prom because there were tons of shady motels where teenagers can rent a night for 30.00 bucks and cruise over to the liquor store and buy cases of Milwaukees Best and Boonesfarm without being carded.
I remember the summer of my junior year in high school, the ultimate rebel---
I went to Wildwood in a convertible with some random guy my parents hated because he was 21, a substitue teacher at my high school, and was striving to make it in the major leagues. Ahhhhh.. that was good stuff.. ( I got him fired;) )
He takes me to Wildwood (my parents think I'm with my best friend) and I think I am so cool.
He wants to get in my pants and all I want to do is get the upper cartilage of my left ear pierced. He's saying lets get some booze and a hotel, I'm saying let's go get my ear pierced. Hotel- ear-hotel-ear.
Finally, i slip away to a pay phone, remember those!!!
Call the best girlfriend and tell her to grab the guy who was totally in love with me at the time (and didn't stand a snowballs chance in hell) convince him to come pick my sorry ass up because I am in a total crappy situation with a sleezy 21 year old substitute teacher, baseball player wanna be in the slimiest town in southern NJ. Like a good friend, she and he save me. I think we said there was a "death in the family". i did fake tears and all !!!!!
Of course I got the earring from some seedy tarot card reading/free ear piercing shop on the boardwalk before we left.
it lasted about 24 hours before my mom saw it and yanked it out of my way cool ear.
I would sneak the earring back in every morning on my way to school,
senior year in my '87 pontiac grand am.
As I write this, I can still feel the hole in my ear when I rub it.
God damn, I used to be cool.
Those were the days.
The best friend I called, still my best friend, and we are still saving each other.

my day off

2006-07-13T15:57:00.000-04:00

7:30 am-kiss husband good bye, welcome contrator in to spackle ceiling
wake up sleeping beauties
load dishwasher
swim teampractice and pictures- 2 hours
laundry- 4 loads
lunches
3o minute conversation with boss on phone (can't wait 'til Monday)
drop off 2 kids at friends
meet oldest at pool, swim 10 laps
bring home oldest son
take trash to curb
unload dishwasher
cut the grass, pick up dog shit
go to bank and cash check
poor glass of wine, defrost dinner
sit at computer, ahhhhhhh

stuck in the middle

2006-07-10T16:53:00.000-04:00

Saturday night, we are having our annual block party. I am grabbing vodka from the freezer, the phone rings. I notice it is the hub from the "cheater" blogs wife. She is wasted and yelling! They have gone in their family acation t the shore. They are one official day down there and 4 days from her finding out he has had 2 chicks he has been conversing on his cell phone and emailing etc.
Slirring she says, "As myy fweind, tell me about how Bob was hanging all over Sally at the pool in front of all our despwate housewives friends and embarrassed the muther fuckkkkkin shit out of me!!!!"
i reply- "Oh Kate, he was fine, it was all just innocent drunk fun. He did nothing he wouldn't have done if you were there!" (Some other wife in the neighborhood who LOVES drama, told her he was being a real pig.)
She replys after she yells at Bob in the background to shut the hell up and I hear something crash against the wall. "You're a liar, I trust you to tell me the truth!!!! How can you side with him?" To this i reply... "KAte, i am not drunk enough to deal with you now, I love you and good night."

summer

2006-07-06T12:49:00.000-04:00

sweaty, sunscreened little boys catching lightenting bugs,
sitting on the porch in the middle of the storm and rating the lightening bolts, the smell of fresh cut grass and a kick ass margarita after a long day at the pool.
I'm happy.

cheater ?

2006-07-04T17:28:00.000-04:00

a married friend with kids, has an on-line love connecion, that spills over to text messaging and cell phone calls. The on-line love lives no too far (about 1 hour) and is also married with kids.
Both parties met in a survivors of gastric bypass support group and have lost about 100 pounds each. The last text message the wife found said"You are so crazeee. Love Ya- Dawn. " the kid over heard dad talking on his cell to this woman and squealed.
This is the third time in Steakbellie and my marriage we have gone through friends who have strayed. Very weird and ALWAYS effects the friendship.

Is this scenario cheating?

Breath

2006-06-27T16:53:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged for awhile so all my blog friends have probably left me ,but I actually have thoughts going through my head . The kids at school have been gone for a week and I am down to working only 2 days a week. What a wonderful thing.
my boys are home, there is no homework , no need to set a bed time, ahh, the smell of summer. According to Steakbellie I am happiest during this time of year. My income is half but happy none the less. I will actually give in to having sex during the week!
we saw a really dumb movie yesterday... "Click" with Adam Sandler. The boys wanted to see it, it was raining and hey I like Adam sandler. I heard the movie sucked but caved anyway.
The movie made me think. the basic premise is- to live life, not just go through the motions, because life passes to quickly. Kids grow, people change, people die and are born, etc.
Today is my birthday and with this premise I have pondered all day.
i think of sweet, sweet, Jenne who is going through a real shitty time right now. I think about how one week she is intelligently and emotionally blogging with my old friend Birdy about happiness being a choice. and then the next week she is told she has cancer. she is the most optimistic person I have ever encountered and will totally kick this Mr. Hodgkins ass I just hate that she has to be put through this ringer!!!
She blogs her thoughts almost daily which inspire me and make me smile. I admire and respect her deeply.
The same premise as this stupid movie. It tells about this character being a really good guy, he wants to give his family everything, but works so hard to get it, he forgets the true meaning of what it is to live. The character is put through the ringer but eventually because he chooses to REALLY live, he does. He chooses to embrace every breath and because of that he is rewarded and given a second chance.
Today is my birthday and I am choosing to embrace every breath, just like my sweet, sweet blogging friend jenne has taught me. i am choosing to be happy.
God Bless you Jenne- We love ya!

Aye Dios mio!!!!!!!

2006-05-30T20:54:00.000-04:00

I have totally lost it. I am REALLY becoming summer , relaxed, need to chill crazed!!!
i have to admit that i think SB is going through a mid life crisis. What age does that happen!?!??!?? What classifies midliffe crisis now a days?!?! He is literally obsessed with competitive eating, which for those of you who aren't familiar, requires training and afterwards a comatose competitor. He is totally into buying some run down, old 1970 something convertible, that he needs to fix up and ride around town in.... and wants me to give him a wax job. Yes... not a hand job, a wax job!!!
Katrocket- I think he is slowly slipping through my finger tips!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm tired, cranky, working my ass of and a friggin misersable S.O.B, tonight . WAH-WAH-WAH!!!!!!!!!!!
tomorrow I will be better, I'm sure.
God help those kids that get a discipline slip-- SUSPENDED !!!!!!!

2006-05-22T09:11:00.000-04:00

My son has a girlfriend., a really cute girlfriend.
He is 12 and in the 6th grade. I am proud of him. It feels good to know chicks dig your kid. I'm proud of him because he lost over 20 pounds and really looks great. I'm proud of him because he is becoming a man.
But, if this little bitch breaks his heart, I will scratch her eyes out.

aye yo!

2006-05-08T10:19:00.000-04:00

Why is it after I watch the Soprano's I 'm like a crazy woman? I feel all mafioso and revved up. I seduce my husband and want to drink red wine and eat pasta. What a great way to end a weekend.

baby

2006-05-01T10:27:00.000-04:00

I really want another baby. I was really young and stressed the first 2 times, better with the third. I really want another baby to enjoy the experience and watch the boys with another little steakbellie soul. Who knows maybe it would be a girl? Someone to share my septor and crown with. Steakbellie is being very mean. I wish he would just say okay, let's do it. Every thing is always a struggle.

stepping up to the plate

2006-04-28T09:16:00.000-04:00

Why are there some people who will do whatever is needed without question, even though in their minds they really hate the idea, and those that will do nothing. I have 65 employees, and two children in wheel chairs. One of which has a personal aide that is out today. He is 12 years old and can not stand unassisted. There is absolutely no one else in this building other than my secretary and me who will take this kid to the bathroom (and he goes a lot!) My secretary is out. So... I am potty patrol.
I just don't get it- how are people so friggin ignorant?!?!?! What if it was their child, what if it were them? Does what goes around come around? And how it must feel to be dependent on another person at all times. Hurumph!
T.G.I.F:)

Viva las vegas

2006-04-25T09:19:00.000-04:00

I had an awesome time but REALLY missed SB! I have to admit I am a total wimp when traveling without the husband. I actually cried the third day. Am I that dependent? Jesus, Mary and Joseph!!!!! I kept saying " Ohh, SB would love this orI wish SB could see this, etc."
The best part was the leprechaun on the bar pouring free shots in peoples mouths fromon top of the bar! Hysterical- considering I have a slight fear of midgets.

i feel good

2006-04-12T19:43:00.000-04:00

I feel really good right now. Despite the usual" We have no money" issues, am a very lucky/blessed lady. (Since I'm not particularly a God fairing individual) (and boy the Catholic guilt that just came over me for writing that !!!!!)
I think you all are pretty neat... i look forward to my daily giggle when I read all of these corny Blogs. It's fun and makes me laugh. I have a WONDERFUL husband and great kids. I love my neighbors, we are family. My house and job ae just what I need right now. AND....
I am going to Vegas on Tuesday with a couple of girlfriends all by myself- my second trip ever without the husband and kids!!! I am nervous, guilty but sooo excited!!!!!! anyone been to Vegas!!!!

the baby

2006-04-11T09:55:00.000-04:00

12 years ago today i brought another human being into this world and steakbellie saw a side of me he could have lived without (literally). I can't believe I have a 12 year old. I'm just a kid myself.
I'm trying to remember what I was oing when I was 12. Sixth grade.
I was making out at the baseball field and sneaking cigarettes behind the dug outs. I was also the queen of prank phone calls. I would put on my best puerto rican accent ( i lived in a HUGE puerto rican neighborhood- I was the only gringa around) and prank every Gonzalez and Hernandez in the phone book and say" Me hablo Jose" " Then he would et on the phone (there is one in every family) and ask where my money was. We would get 30 seconds in and everyone around me would crack up and I'd have to hang up on Jose. Damn that caller ID or else I think Iwould still be doing it after happy hours on Friday nights.
I'll bet Birdy and Steakbellie were playing Dungeons and Dragons and trading Comic books:) (He wasn't as cool as me!)

running away

2006-04-05T19:02:00.000-04:00

Well- it's official the middle child has officially announced he is going to run away. He is the one who most resembles his ex- bikini underwear wearing, wing contest eating, father. DIFFICULT and drives me crazy. i love him dearly but, they say there is a thing with middle children? is this true? I was the oldest. Steakbellie seems to (believe it or not) be the most normal and he is the middle. However, everyone I talk to says," Oh, the middle child is always the one that gives you gray hair. I worry about him. He is definately creative minded, can put together anything you ask, will build you a house if you give him the materials. But, school is not his thing. It is hard for him and he knows it. I of all people should understand him the most. I of all people should have the most tolerance. But I of all people, am the one that makes excuses and enables him. And then I yell. And now he is going to run away. God- I must have said that a thousand times growing up. The difference between me and him. he's smart enough to figure out a way to do it!

she shoot, she scores!

2006-03-30T13:07:00.000-05:00

yesterday I almost missed taking my 6 year old to his first baseball practice of the season, because I had to search a kid who has been selling pot in the bath rooms . I must say the euphoria of reaching into the coat pocket and pulling out the perfectly packaged dime bags was amazing. Seeing his face look as though he saw a ghost when I pulled him out of his class, priceless. One less little f---r corrupting my building! I also broke up a group of black girls twice my size in a fist fight with high heels on al by myself!
She shoots, she scores!
Oh and I had a delicious teriyaki, grilled shrimp and steak with onions, red peppers and pineapples prepared and on the table waiting for steakbellie and boys homework done !
Another 2 points! Can I get a "You go girl?"
(P.s- Steakbellie had the nerve to try and be intimate at 10:30 at night- where does it end?!?!?! Jeeze!)

anger

2006-03-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

Birdy talks of love.
I talk of anger! I am so bitter, agressive and down right miserable right now. I could really punch someone! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

A lesson learned

2006-03-24T11:36:00.000-05:00

Steakbellie and I are a great team. We laugh at ourselves quite often. Last night at dinner, the boys (as per usual) decide to end their evening meal with a wrestling match in the foyer that is connected to the dining room. SB and I are delerious from our long days at work and have minimal desire to discipline our very rammy children. They have wayyyy to much energy and what starts out as a cute and innocent rolling around session ends in tears and screaming and yelling. SB and I look longingly into each others eyes And as if we are two peas in a pod we say "Boys get your sneakers on! You all must go and run around the block, NOW! " The oldest finds this odd and says, " I ran 2 miles after school, God!" We respond "Good this shouldn't be a problem then" The middle son immediately gets into his whiney, most irriatating voice," I doooonnnn't know wherrrrreeeee my shoes are. I can't run. I'm too tirrrrreeeeddd." The tears begin to flow and he is stomping his feet around the house as if he has traveled back to the terrible 2's. The little one says" Oh my God, no way it's dark out there." We respond then you better hurry up and catch the older brother!" At which point he takes off out the front door to catch up with his brother. The middle one is now listening to SB give the count down. (Which ALWAYS begins with 2, never 1!!!!) " If I get to 3" he says "you will be in bed immediately!! " He now finds his shoes and exits the front door. The other 2 are back by the time he gets out the door. SB and I are cracking up as the other 2, with beads of sweats, bust through the front door. We are so pleased with our selves as parents, for teaching our children a lesson. Boy, they'll remember this one when their older! We are imagining the tantruming middle son cursing us to hell as he runs half heartedly around the block. The neighbors staring through their windows " What did those Gerber Steakbellie boys do now?"
After a couple minutes we say " Middle son sure is milking this one, SB go get him." SB goes out and quickly returns. "
I ask, "WEll, where is he?
He looks at me with a smirk and says, "The little fucker has been sitting on the front steps laughing his ass off the whole time. "
Like father like son!!!

fond memories

2006-03-20T14:57:00.000-05:00

Last night I was going through crates of old things from the attic. It amazes me that events from our lives will vanish if we don't have things that will jar our memory. I found an article of clothing that brought me back to when I first got married.
It immediately sparked those old fashioned "butterflies in my stomach" feelings for the husband, 12 1/2 years later. So, I yelled from upstairs in my most romantic tone " Turn off that video game and take your pants off!"

what would you do?

2006-03-14T17:56:00.000-05:00

IMAGINE!!!! Please answer honestly! There is no right or wrong answer.
you are in charge of 525 elementary school children, grades Pre-K to eighth. Your fellow administrator comes to you and says "we need to go get Johnny (8th grade). he has a gun. We will need down and have hime empty his pockets. The police say they are on their way. " Now, in your mind - you know the reputation of the local police department and that "on their way" really means "when they f-n get there." You have three small children of your own and a delicate and loving spouse, that would be really messed up if he/she lost you to an eighth grade punk who wanted to be cool and came to school packin. Could he pull the gun on you when you lock him in your office? Very posssible. Could it all be a bunch of bullshit and the kid has nothing? Possible.
Do you step up to the plate and get this kid for the sake of the safety of the other kids and staff members in the building? Or do you say "Count me out buddy, I don't get paid enough to get shot?"
Discuss...

letting go

2006-03-10T14:57:00.000-05:00

i had to "let someone go" today . He wasn't happy about it.

money

2006-03-10T08:09:00.000-05:00

when do we ever become fianancially stable? The more we make the poorer we are.

The Reeve Story

2006-03-08T08:06:00.000-05:00

How long until the Christopher and Dana Reeve story is made into a made for T.V. movie and who will play them?
Angelina and Brad? Mark and JLo? Ben and Jen?
Nah- would have to be b-list celebrities...
Heather Locklear and the guy that plays Will on Will and Grace?

kyle

2006-03-06T13:41:00.000-05:00

The majority of people live in a reality bubble. Go to work, come home and watch other peoples misfortune on the news. My bubble seems to burst every friggin day I come to work. I don't need to watch the news.
Today little Kyle comes to my office. He is 6 years old, first grade. He holds a special place in my heart because I have a six year old son who actually looks similar to this kid. However, Kyle is a million years (emotionally) away from my son. He began coming to me in about 8 weeks ago. Out of the blue.
Kyle: "Mrs. Gerberdaisee, I 'm living with mom-mom and pop-pop 'cause Mom and Das screwed up again."
G.B: "What do you mean, Kyle?"
Kyle: Doin drugs, the police came, put me in the car. Now I'm with Mom-Mom."
G.B: "Kyle, even Mom's and Das'c make mistakes? Where are they now?"
Kyle: "In rehab. for six weeks"
G.B: (floored this kid talksl ike a teenager), Kyle, I'm sorry. They are going to get better I bet, and I'm sure they love you and will miss you."
Kyle: "Yeah"
Today-
Kyle: "They came home last weekend, but Dad was high. The drug expert said they both tested positive for pot and xanax. Mom-mom said the police now have a restraining order and I can't see them anymore. I remember the last time they had a restraing order, it was when I saw my mom putting those needles in her arm and make me go upstairs. She used to fall asleep with them in her arms. I hated that. Mom-mom now makes me watch cops and America's Most Wanted so that I see what happens topeople who do drugs. Mrs. Gerberdaisee, can you hold me on your lap and let me cry."
G.B: Anytime,Kyle. Anytime.

what would you be?

2006-03-03T12:05:00.000-05:00

I wonder what I would be if I wasn't 18 when I decided what I wanted to do with the rest of my life? What other things ams interested in? What am I good at? What if money were not important or everyone made the same amount. What would I be?

all things to all people

2006-03-02T13:52:00.000-05:00

i have finally come to the conclusion that "No" is a word that I can say and I don't have to follow it up with an explanation. My boss asked me to do an evening meeting. Typically, I will say, "Sure, what would you like covered? How long of a presentation? should I provide snacks? Would you like me to bend over and take it the ass? blah blah blah." Evening meeting in our house suck!! Three boys, homework, sports, husband not home til 6:30, making dinner , cleaning up baths, whaaaaa. Needless to say I DO NOT like to be at work from 7 am til 9 pm. So, I originally answered like I previously stated. And then, the next day something came over me. I went directly to the young, 95 pound stripperesk- looking social worker, that I hired and said...
"I need you to do an evening meeting on Thursday for parents on..... You will be compensated. Thank you for your flexibility and dedication to our school. And then I walked away." I then proceeded to my boss and said "hot stripper social worker is doing the meeting" at which he said, "she can't do it like you do it." and I said " Your right." He said so, then you will do it then Gerberdaisee? and I said,"No, actually I won't" & I walked away!
WHOOO-HOO - What a Ride!

First Post

2006-03-01T21:55:00.000-05:00

I Love Eric