put me in coach!

I'm not sure how I will come across after I write this, but let me start by saying I am a huge Howard Stern fan.
I love that he makes retarded people feel happy and important, example. "Gary and Wendy the Retard, How's You News?"
i was a special education teacher for 10 years before I became an administrator. I worked with all ages and saw it all.
I have learned that mentally retarded people do not want pity, they do not give a shit, they are the HAPPIEST people on earth. I'll bet there are zero cases of suicide from the mentally retarded sector, and if their is, it is because some idiot with average intelligence, told them to do it.
Ok that is my disclaimer, listen to this...
Today I go to youngest Steakbellie's football game. They are the cutest things! 7 and 8 year olds with these huge pads on .
( it reminds me of the younger brother in The Christmas Story, when the Mom puts the snow suit on the kid and he falls and can't get up because he has so much shit on!) anyway, these boys work hard. they are tough.
There is a kid on McDoogle's (youngest steakbellie's nickname), whose Dad is a group home director for young men about, 16-20 years old. He works Sundays and always brings 2-4 of his "clients" to his kids game as their outing for Sundays. Its really cool, they love it.
I happen to be a retard magnet , I say that affectionately. Everywhere I go, if there is a M.R anywhere in the vicinity they will find me and make me their best friend. It's okay, it feels natural.
So, one particular client sits with me on the side lines, he has his schedule board with him, that tells what he is doing for the day and at what time. He shares it with me. The highlight is this game. He has that very stereotypical retarded voice, the one that sounds a lot like a deaf person attempting to speak. He looks and carries himself alot like Napoleon Dynamight with short hair. He is cheering, "Go Raiders!" through out the game. We are losing. He is beginning to get upset. We haven't lost yet this season. I tell him not to worry, we still have the second half.
He gives a smile and cheers "YOu can do it Raiders"
Half time comes and goes, Trevon (his case worker and dad of player) checks in to makes sure he is ok. i give him the thumbs up. Trevon's other son is there and has brought an old Raiders helmet. My M.R (mentally retarded) friend keeps eyeing it up and telling me how much he likes it. "That's for the Raiders, I want one of those" as he begins to rock back and forth. I say "maybe we can get you one", remembering I have one from last year in my basement I forgot to return, I'll give it to him next week.
We are in the 3rd quarter, the other team scores again, 12-0 . M.R friend is not happy. "We are losing, oh man. we are losing, oh man! Go Raiders, c'mon Raiders you can do it!" Trevon looks over at us and gives a gracious wave to me.
At that, I see my M.R friend take the old helmet that is sitting in front of him, place it on his head, and just as we are setting up to snap the ball, M.R friend charges on the field yelling, "DON'T WORRY RAIDERS, I WILL HELP YOU! WE CAN WIN!" It was as if time was in slow motion dashes onto the field, I'm yelling, "STOP! WAIT! "
Trevon has dropped his fountain soda and is running after him toward the field.
M.R friend grabs the ball and sits down right in front of the center. "They can't have it, we have to win, i will help!!!"
I can't help but giggle at what I am witnessing. Imagine a retarded Napoleon Dynamite in a football helmet stealing the ball at a 7-8 year olds game. It was hilarious! Whistles are blown, kids stop in their tracks! Coaches and ref are all clueless!
M.R friend sits and refuses to move. It took poor Trevon 10 minutes to get him off the field, which ended up as dragging off the field, literally! If they would have let him just throw the ball to one of the kids I'm sure he would have gone willingly.
I laugh to myself admiring this guys drive and determination, I pick up his schedule pad and next to where he wrote
"10:30- Go to game. " I cross out "go" and put "play in" game .
What a great game!